If you don’t respond within the hour I’m going to obsess over my text to find any possible way it could have been offensive. Being flirty is very, very tough when there’s all that overthinking and internal pressure. Just pick a restaurant and tell us where we need to be. You listen to yourself saying things you don’t even mean and babbling just to fill the silence, and try desperately to sell yourself and be the ‘real you’. Because you’re terrified that you’ll scare them off. But after a few dates with people saying they ‘don’t believe’ in mental illness or that you’re just being dramatic, you do slowly start to lose faith in the world. Don’t tell us to calm down or patronise us with the ‘it’s just your anxiety’ line when you’re actually being a crappy person. If they’re the right person, they’ll understand and help you through it. For people with anxiety, though, every bad thing can seem like the WORST THING THAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN. Usually your evenings are dedicated to meditation, cooking for yourself, and generally making sure you’re doing okay. Now I have to let me guard down, think about someone else, and actually accept that someone cares.
But when you struggle with anxiety, dating is just that little bit harder.
Because nothing kills a romantic vibe quite like an entirely unprompted panic attack. How do you know they’re not secretly a serial killer if you’ve only known them a few hours?
And there are few things that hinder the whole ‘playing it cool’ protocol quite like an intense combination of overthinking and paranoia. So yes, there are some parts of dating that are straight up terrible when you have anxiety. You know a GREAT way to craft the perfect Tinder bio?
Overthink the whole thing for three hours, rule out all current photos from your Facebook because you now hate them, and analyse every word you write to make sure it couldn’t possible be misconstrued.
) of dating when social etiquette decrees you must pretend you’re only a little bit interested in each other, and are really not bothered about anything that’s happening.
Bonus points if your date has literally no idea how to handle a panic attack, starts panicking themselves, and you end up having to calm THEM down. If there’s one thing people with anxiety really struggle with, it’s having to make a decision. Because once you care, they’re someone to worry about. Every time they don’t text back, it’s not that they don’t like you, it’s that they’ve been hit by a bus and are currently dying in hospital. Hyperventilating and sweat really wrecks that fancy date makeup. When you’ve got social anxiety, all that required social interaction (or just being surrounded by noise, crowds, and chatter) is HARD. Partly because you feel awkward, but mostly because all those anxious feelings tend to congregate in your stomach. Sometimes you’ll have to explain that no, this time you’re just being a bit of a d*ck. No matter how many clear signs there are that they like us back, we will still manage to think of some way that we could have made the entire thing up in our heads. having a crush in your twenties Actually admitting that we like someone is guaranteed to cover us in sweat and fill our heads with visions of them laughing in our face/awkwardly explaining that they just see us as a friend. But it’s still bloody scary showing ‘the crazy’ for the first time. Suddenly there’s a person who you actually want to spend time with, and you have to fit your self-care around that. The DSM-5 defines social anxiety as the “persistent fear of one or more situations in which the person is exposed to possible scrutiny by others and fears that he or she may do something or act in a way that will be humiliating or embarrassing.” Those who are shy, if not socially anxious, tend to experience social situations in a more reserved, tense and uncomfortable manner, especially when meeting new people.It may take longer to open up and share, which can affect one’s ability to form close relationships.Dating is typically a situation where people feel scrutinized, have to meet new people, and may fear they’ll do something embarrassing.